


Death Note Meta

by Rachello344



Series: Tumblr Meta Essays [4]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Character Analysis, Crossposted from Rachello344 Blog, Meta Essays, Nonfiction, Plot analysis, Queer Reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 19:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16838575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachello344/pseuds/Rachello344
Summary: A collection of my Death Note meta posts cross posted from Tumblr.





	1. 26 October 2015

**Author's Note:**

> Since tumblr is rapidly going down hill, I've decided to put all of my essays on Ao3. It'll probably take a while, but I'll be posting each fandom's essays in their own work to collect them all in one place.

> scarycaesar:
>
>> I like the idea that Shinigami are all people who used to be alive and used the death note tbh because it explains where they come from and the Shinigami realm fits as the “nothing” that Ryuk describes as where people who have used the Death Note go. Also I think it makes the whole ‘Shinigami can only be killed by falling in love with a human’ thing a lot sadder somehow idk.
> 
> #Meghan talks#This thought process was completely inspired by that new Adele song#I was like ahaha#Light would be a Shinigami then and L would be???#Somewhere??#Heaven probably??#I also think they wouldn’t have their memories of their human lives#though maybe sometimes they have flashes of memory#would also explain Ryuk’s original design#maybe that’s what he looked like when he was human#and the Shinigami appearance is an ugly mask

I’m gonna expand on my own tags and thoughts cause I just gotta, I feel like the Shinigami realm is like, the ultimate punishment for people who used the Death Note because it’s just nothing it’s just the absolute most boring thing in existence and like you have to imagine that at least a good portion of the people who have used Death Notes in the past were not good people?? Like?? Unless it was self defense or something but let’s assume most cases weren’t. You’re just stuck in this boring plane of existence forever, forced to kill people as a job but it’s not even fun or interesting because nothing ever effects you it’s just miserable. 

And it’s just the WORST that it’s falling in love with a human that kills them cause again you gotta imagine most Shinigami were not good people because they were Death Note users so like, protecting someone elses’s life in a way that doesn’t benefit you is completely contradictory to the point of the Death Note and it’s really sad that it’s only in Death that they get to redeem themselves AND OMG what if Shinigami who die get to go to heaven??? What if the Shinigami realm is like purgatory??? And only the human souls who have learned to love and are willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of another life are the ones who get to move on to a better place???

Like the point of purgatory is penance, you’re supposed to stay there in a state of limbo until you’ve repented for your sins and again it would fit the description as the “nothing” like it makes the most SENSE for the Shinigami realm to be purgatory which means that it’s meant to be a chance for former Death Note users to redeem themselves (which I actually feel is pretty fair cause like, if you were a shitty person without the influence of the Death Note that’s your own fault, to hell you go, but the Death Note twists people and makes them more evil then they were like it plays on human nature and I feel like if a Death Note user after death could prove (not like, prove because they don’t know the truth but u get what I mean) that they were still a good person at heart, it would warrant going to Heaven). But everyone there is so concerned with their own selves and their own well being that they only kill for their own sakes so they just rot their forever, they’ve abandoned their humanity so they don’t get to move on AHH that would mean Rem and Gelus got to go to heaven??? 

[Image Description: Canon: Light -> Shinigami (very long) -> Other Universe -> Saves L -> Heaven | Movies: Light -> Shinigami | Drama: Light -> Shinigami -> Saves Someone -> Heaven | A flowchart of images shoes a person's life cycle. Without the Death Note, they die and go to either Heaven or Hell. With the Death Note, they become a Shinigami when they die, and then either die because they didn't use the Death Note enough or because they saved someone else. An arrow connects not using the Death Note enough to the start of the graphic, while saving someone connects to Heaven.]

So basically, we spent two hours talking about this theory that the shinigami realm acts as a sort of purgatory. To simplify hours of discussion, we came up with the above life cycle (and extra stuff I’ll go into later). Stage one is a normal human. Normal humans die and go to either heaven or hell, no interference, no stop in purgatory, game over, the end. Humans who use a death note go to purgatory as a shinigami.

Now, once they become a shinigami, several things can happen. They could be like Ryuk and stay a shinigami forever through constant use of the death note. They could follow Rem’s example and die for love. Or, they could just cease to be through lack of using the death note. If they go Ryuk’s route, nothing changes. They could continue for eternity. If they go Rem’s route, they are redeemed and get to move on to heaven, If they just give up, they’re reborn as a human and get another go around most likely without the death note.

Now, for the stuff on the left. Movie-verse!Light is unlikely to save someone else as a shinigami, and is unlikely to let himself die, so his fate would be to follow Ryuk’s example, spending centuries as a shinigami, going on and on and on. Drama!Light, on the other hand, was already kind and compassionate, so it’s more likely he would see someone worth dying for. now, canon!Light is more complicated.

Backing up, I’m under the impression that, while the rest of the cast changes with each iteration, Ryuk remains a constant, aware of all preceding universes. Bearing that in mind, Ryuk seeks out each universe’s Light in order to give him a death note. As such, when canon!Light seems to be following Ryuk’s footsteps, he starts actually following him and visits a different human universe, one with a Lighht and L in it for Ryuk to meddle with. Light follows that universe’s L, unsure why, but feeling drawn to him nonetheless. He doesn’t drop his botebook, but, when the game gets going, Light can see that the other him (that he doesn’t know is a version of him) is going to kill L, so, without thinking, he writes that Light’s name into his death note, thereby saving L and himself.

The thing is, Light can only make it out of the cycle through self-sacrifice, because every time he gets reborn, Ryuk gives him a death note, no matter the universe. Meghan and I went into more options for how to break the cycle (including L as his guardian angel, pressing Light into turning away from the death note at every turn, thwarting Ryuk with every move). Honestly, the option and implications of this headcanon are neverending. I am super fond of this theory, so I’d love to keep talking, but this is already super long, so I’m going to stop myself here, haha


	2. 27 December 2015

**This post was written in reply to a post by tumblr user atcaelumcerte, found [[here]](http://atcaelumcerte.tumblr.com/post/136020179751/tell-me-light-from-the-moment-you-were-born).

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “were you being sincere when you were affectionate towards me." Light makes a point of telling L about how he’d fallen for Misa–although he never actually _says_ so, just hints at it, by asking who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who loved them like Misa loves him. It’s a cruel jab meant to hurt L and nothing more. Light gets nothing out of that move objectively, but assuming his feelings for L were genuine, be they platonic or romantic, he could very well be reassuring himself that he doesn’t care for L after all.

So L’s asking him if he’s ever told the truth could have been in response to that, along with the complete change of heart Light has after he touches the death note. Light’s body language with L is open and close during the Yotsuba arc; they mirror each other most of the time they work together, implying a close emotional bond. (I mean, heck, they exchange what equate roughly to marriage bonds–til death do us part.) After, though? Light is shown turning away from L physically, and he never stands as close to L as he did before.

Even their fighting was a level of closeness Light never granted to anyone else. Going from that level of candor and emotion to the cold emptiness of Kira!Light must have been jarring and painful. I’m surprised L didn’t bring it up earlier, although I like to think he hoped he was wrong, even at the end.

But God, could you imagine if he’d pushed? If he hadn’t taken Light’s dodging and made him answer? I don’t know how much L would have accomplished, given the nature of Kira, but what if forcing the issue made Light angry enough to fight him, to show his hand (emotionally) in a way he never does as Kira? What if Light was forced to change plans because L was obviously planning something, obviously _knew?_ I mean, making a move that could be leading directly into a trap is too sloppy for this Kira. This Kira is too cautious, not like after L when his only threat is someone he sees as inherently lesser, an imposter.

What if what if what if???


	3. Queer Death Experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a final essay in May 2016 and posted to tumblr in July.

_Death Note_ is an anime released in 2006 about a young man, Light Yagami, who discovers a notebook, the Death Note, capable of killing anyone whose name is written within its pages. The story follows him as he tries to become the “god of a new world,” by killing criminals in order to impose his version of justice on the world. In his quest, he is directly opposed by a mysterious detective, L, and a taskforce of police officers, including his father. _Death Note_ exemplifies queer coding in both its focus on the importance and variability of identity and its apparent homoeroticism between Light and his antagonist L.

The anime opens with Light Yagami’s discovery of the Death Note. He takes it home, and thinking it’s like a chain letter—it claims it can kill someone by writing their name in the notebook—decides to test it on a criminal holding children hostage. When the man dies, Light laughs it off as a coincidence and decides to test it again. When it’s proven that the notebook can kill people, he panics and decides to use it to punish criminals. Within a few days, he’s killed pages of criminals, impressing the death god (called a Shinigami) who dropped the notebook, Ryuk. His killing also attracts the attention of the world’s best detective, L, along with Interpol and Japan’s police force, headed by Light’s father. L challenges Light directly through a TV broadcast in which he calls Kira, the name Light kills under, an evil murderer. Light responds in a fit of rage and kills the man calling himself L. The man is revealed to be a criminal scheduled for execution, and the real L asks Kira to kill him if he can. However, as L is not showing his face or giving his name, Light is unable to do anything to him. From there, L begins taking action against Light, and Light begins to look into ways to stop L by testing the limitations of the Death Note. L sends several members of the FBI to investigate members of the police and their families, looking for the person giving information to Kira. When Light finds out, he forms and executes a plan to kill all of the agents. L then decides to work directly with the remains of the taskforce, five men from the Japanese police force, led by Soichiro Yagami, Light’s father. These men meet L directly, the first people outside of his assistant to see his face. While Light is still setting up contingency plans, L plants cameras in the houses of those being tailed by a particular agent, the same agent that was tailing Light. After averting their suspicion, Light begins preparing for his university entrance exam. It is there that he sees L for the first time. As they both get accepted with perfect scores on the exam, they are asked to each give a welcome speech at the beginning of the school year. L is introduced under a pseudonym, but after their speeches, L tells Light that he is L. After mutually deciding to get close to each other in order to get information, they begin working together just after the appearance of someone claiming to be Kira. While investigating together, Light is found by the second Kira, a model named Misa. She confesses her love to Light and insists on helping him in any way she can. Light attempts to threaten her, but Misa’s Shinigami, Rem, tells him that if he tries anything, she will write his name in her Death Note and kill him. Resigned, Light accepts her help in killing L. Just when he thinks he’s gotten L’s name, L tells Light that Misa has been arrested under suspicion of being the second Kira. Light quickly devises a plan to deflect L’s suspicion and willingly confines himself under suspicion of being the first Kira. While in captivity, he gives up possession of the Death Note and loses his memories of being Kira. While in this state, he and L investigate the emergence of a new Kira. When they capture the new Kira, Light regains possession of the Death Note and his memories of being Kira; back in control, Light continues his plan to kill L by using Misa’s Shinigami. L’s death serves as the climax of the anime, despite there being another 12 episodes after the fact. After L’s death, there are only a few events worthy of note, and those will be addressed directly during the analysis.

To begin with, the Death Note itself could be considered queer. It requires the user to know the victim, both their true name and their face, before being able to kill them. While the cause of death may be specified, it must be something that is physically possible. The deaths, while unnatural in every sense of the word, must _appear_ natural, mimicking a kind of “passing” as is common in queer communities. Because there is such a strong remove between the killer and the act itself, the nature of murder is itself complicated. There is nothing particularly wrong with writing down someone’s name; it’s perfectly innocuous and harmless. However, the Death Note takes that innocuous act and weaponizes it, changing it from something recognizable and mundane to something sinister and supernatural, thereby queering even the murder process itself.

As _Death Note_ is hinged on a notebook that can only kill if the owner knows the name and face of the intended victim, identity plays a huge role. With that in mind, names and _knowing_ names are both vitally important to the plot, as is the ability to inhabit multiple identities. This ability is itself queer, as the concept of a fluctuating identity is paramount to queer theory, particularly if one takes a constructionist view of gender and sexuality, two things included under the identity umbrella. According to Annamarie Jagose in her book, _Queer Theory: An Introduction,_ “constructionists assume identity is fluid, the effect of social conditioning and available cultural models for understanding oneself” (8). This take on identity is best exemplified by Light, who begins the story with a number of identifiers for himself. He and the people around him see Light as a perfect son and a perfect honor student. He is his father’s son through and through, adopting his father’s strict views of right and wrong as his own. He affirms these titles to himself multiple times, once calling himself “Japan’s number one honor student,” which while true, seems an unnecessary reassurance. His titles are well-deserved; he is shown to be dutiful and brilliant, earning perfect scores with apparent ease. Society gives him another title when his efforts to change the world gain attention. People online begin calling him “Kira,” a derivative of the English word “killer,” thereby validating his actions in their acknowledgment of him as a “savior.” His performance of these roles is highly adept as he moves between them with ease, though the differences between Light Yagami and Kira are generally sudden and marked. The fractures between who he is and how he presents himself cause a number of internal conflicts and force him to dissociate in order to reconcile his multiple faces. At several points, Light refers to “Light” and “Kira” as if they aren’t the same person. He performs his identity literally, saying “I have to act naturally, how Soichiro Yagami’s son Light would act” ( _Death Note_ , “Encounter”), and “I have to be the Light Yagami who is worried about his father” ( _Death Note,_ “Doubt”). This focus on performance and internal conflict is never shown with relation to another character, partly due to the show’s point of view. Through his performance of multiple identities, Light embodies a queer identity.

Light’s behavior at home can even be considered queer as it is similar to that of someone still closeted. Light is an intensely private person. Part of this is due to the Death Note, as he would have to kill anyone who found out about it. However, several aspects seem to have already been in place before he found the notebook. The first thing he does to ensure he won’t need to kill his family is ask his mother not to clean his room. She’s surprised by the question as Light has been cleaning his own room for years. His mother doesn’t enter his room without his permission, respecting his desire for privacy. He begins locking his door while he’s home, something his sister is surprised by—before, it seems, she was allowed in and out of his room whenever she wanted, usually so she could get help on her math homework. He spends all of his time in his room with his door locked. The viewers know this is in order to hide his use of the Death Note, but without that, his behavior suggests that he’s only comfortable or able to be himself when he’s alone in his room, away from his family. This behavior bears remarkable resemblance with someone in the closet, so to speak. And as locking his door while he’s at home apparently isn’t enough protection for his privacy, Light also employs a three-part trick to tell if anyone’s been in his room. This trick is something that is implied to have begun before he picked up the Death Note, and as such leads the viewer to wonder why he needs to go to such lengths to ensure no one enters his room. The first part of this trick is based around the door knob itself. As it’s one of the longer handled ones, it returns to rest automatically at a 90 degree angle. Light is able to lower it a further five degrees when he leaves, so if someone goes into his room, his handle will be back at 90 instead of 85 degrees. Normally, one would consider that enough, but Light also leaves a small scrap of paper in his door, so if someone enters his room, it will be on the floor. In case the person entering notices the paper and puts it back, however, Light also leaves a piece of pencil lead on the hinge of his door. If he finds it snapped on the ground, but the paper was still in place, he knows someone was trying to hide their entry to his room. This set up is never shown in the planning stages, so it can be assumed he began doing this before he found the Death Note. What he felt the need to go to such lengths to hide is anyone’s guess. Although, in order to provide an explanation for it later, he goes out to buy a pornographic magazine, suggesting that he feels that’s a reasonable thing to put such effort into hiding. One of the other tricks he uses to hide the Death Note is even more extreme, but is directly connected to the Death Note. To make sure that no one but him can find it in his room, Light creates a false bottom for his desk drawer. This on its own would be comparatively normal, but Light takes it a step further and rigs it with an incendiary device. If someone else tries to open it, the drawer will catch fire and burn the Death Note, erasing all evidence of its existence. There is no way for him to explain this as some normal precaution for hiding his “diary,” yet he insists that this extreme effort to protect his privacy is something anyone would do. In fact, Light never once worries about how to explain his desk drawer catching fire should someone pry open the false bottom. As no one ever does, it’s hard to say how he would explain it, but when seen alongside the other things he does to maintain his privacy, it adds to a pattern of increasingly extreme measures employed to hide something. As some of the measures he takes are implied to have begun before he finds the Death Note, Light is implied to have something to hide even beyond the magical notebook in his desk drawer. Who’s to say it isn’t something as simple as a queer sexuality?

Light is shown with women during the anime, but while he seduces them, he is never shown to have more than a pragmatic interest in them. Time after time, women are shown to gaze after him longingly, but that interest is never returned. He ignores the women around him until they prove useful to his current goals. The first date shown in the anime is staged in order to gain the name of the FBI agent following him. The second set of dates is instigated by the second Kira, Misa. She is called “cute” and “beautiful” at every turn. She is even propositioned by three separate older men later in the series, and one of them asks her to marry him after trying to kiss her. Even Shinigami are shown to be affected by her: two fall in love with her and even die for her (one of them a woman, marking an explicit example of apparent same-sex love) and a third says “I’m male; you’re making me shy” ( _Death Note_ , “Revival”). Yet, Light is not affected by her in the slightest. He is willing to “act” like her boyfriend, but won’t _be_ her boyfriend. When she is too affectionate, knocking him over with the force of her hug, he thinks to himself, “This is the first time I’ve ever really wanted to hit a woman” ( _Death Note_ , “Friend”). Even when looking at the pictures she’s taken as a model, he’s more annoyed by how visible she is and the danger that represents to his cause; he has no apparent response to her beauty. He shows a similar non-reaction when reading pornography. Rather than being interested in the scantily clad women in the magazine, he looks bored and entirely disinterested. The only reason he buys the magazine in the first place is to hide the real reason for the traps he has set on his door, hiding the Death Note. This apparent lack of interest in women when combined with his focus on privacy and his multiple identities suggests strongly his being queer, or at least queer-coded.

Furthermore, Light’s performance of gender is not as consistently masculine as one might expect. In fact, many of his characteristics are typically coded as feminine. Physically, he’s shown to be quite pretty, with doe eyes and long eyelashes; his face is round and rather young looking. His voice even shifts registers depending on where (or who) he is at the time. It’s higher when he’s in public or with people he’s trying to convince to lower their guard; it’s lower only when he’s alone, with his Shinigami, or with people who know him as Kira. Light is only shown using force—a masculine choice—against L, and only as a reaction, not as a means to an end. Instead, Light uses manipulation and even seduction techniques in order to get what he wants, something also strongly coded as feminine. When people are shown to have something Light needs, particularly information or the ability to obfuscate something he’s doing, he generally uses flattery to convince people to do what he wants them to. Most often, he uses these techniques on women, especially those shown to have a romantic interest in him. This behavior brings to mind an American film trope, the femme fatale, a woman who uses seduction in order to manipulate the men around her. Like the femme fatale’s focus on seduction techniques in order to get ahead, Light calls these women beautiful and uses romantic ideas like fate to keep them interested in him and therefore useful to his goals. His focus on fate is especially interesting as he derides the women for believing something so foolish, but he also believes in fate to some extent. When he first receives the Death Note, he believes it to be an act of fate, asking the death god who dropped it why he was “chosen.” These feminine traits complicate his performance of gender from that of a strictly masculine one to a more queer performance of gender with both masculine and feminine traits present and in abundance.

Despite being the protagonist of his story, Light is also technically the villain. He is a mass/serial murderer, even if the story is told from his point of view. As such, one can draw a number of similarities between Light and other villains; in particular, the villains who are also queer-coded. In fact, TVTropes has a page on something called the “Sissy Villain,” which describes queer-coded villains to a T. A Sissy Villain has “flamboyant mannerisms, delicate voices, light builds, prissiness, femininely pretty looks, grandiloquent speeches, giggling, love for poetry and opera, impeccable fashion sense (not always in men’s clothing), fondness for Persian cats, etc.” (TVTropes). Light fits this definition nearly perfectly. He is never shown cross-dressing, nor does he have a love of opera or Persian cats, but everything else he has in spades. Light’s voice is soft and feminine when he speaks with others. He gives grand and elaborate speeches, especially about becoming the “god of the new world.” Light giggles more than once, especially when he’s trying to hide his connection to Kira from L. He is shown to dress well, especially when contrasted with the sloppy and casual clothes L wears. He’s even in the list the website has of characters that fit the trope. Because of Light’s femininity, he is cast as Other, especially against the traditionally masculine police officers working against him. Effeminate men are also typically seen as gay, as they do not comfortably fit the gender binary; whether or not they are gay doesn’t matter as they come across as queer, regardless of sexual orientation. These villains are also highly concerned with details and appearances—like Light, who obsesses over minor details, many of which end up keeping him out of L’s reach. They also show strong and emotional reactions, generally shown as _over_ -reactions, similar to hysteria in a woman. When Light is first challenged by L, he loses his head and kills L’s stand in with an uncharacteristic lack of attention to potential consequences. In the safety of his room, he yells and hits his desk when L makes a particularly strong move against him. These emotional, even hysterical, reactions are generally only because of something L has done, but none of the other men in the show are shown to react in this way. As a villain, despite also being a protagonist, Light is heavily queer-coded through his behavior.

Like Light, L also occupies a generally queer coded role. The private detective has been historically queer coded. From Edgar Allen Poe’s Dupin to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Homes and on, private detectives operate outside of the mainstream. They generally work odd hours, especially at night, and are comfortable moving between the “real” world and the so-called “under” world—Holmes, as one example, had multiple criminal connections and used several aliases. L, too, has underworld connections in the form of a thief and a conman he has worked with before. Even the way the deductions are made is a little queer in that none of the police detectives can understand how he makes the connections he does. In fact, the only person shown to keep up with L’s deductions is Light who is also queer-coded. As far as multiple identities go, L is shown to have the most. He is the world’s three best detectives (L, Coil, and Deneuve), and he uses two aliases (Hideki Ryuga and Ryuuzaki) during the Kira case alone. He protects his identity as he would his life; if someone figured out he was L, he would immediately become a target for the powerful people he has arrested in the past. As such, until the start of the anime, never shown his true face or told anyone that he is the world’s greatest detective. Even after showing his face, however, L’s true name is never learned, not even after his death. Furthermore, each of his aliases comes with a different personality, serving as a different identity. No one in the anime is better at performing than L. According to Carla Freccero, “Queer culture … introduces notions of multiple identities, noncategorizable identities, conflictual identities that are at odds with the way we are in the habit of classifying things” (43). As such, L is shown to be the most queer character as he is the most capable of enacting this performance of multiple identities.

Another way in which L is shown to be queer is in his fixation on Light and subsequent behavior. L refuses to accept the possibility that anyone but Light could be Kira. Early on, L comments to Light’s father that Light “is very smart,” and is shown rubbing his lip as he says this. Lip rubbing, along with thumb biting, is something L does frequently and is something with strong sexual connotations, akin to lip biting. Throughout the anime, L only rubs his lips or bites his thumb when he’s thinking about Light or Kira. As they are the same person, this sexual connotation takes on deeper homoerotic tones when coupled with the actions L takes against Light as Kira. These actions, likewise homoerotic, are all connoted with sexual deviance and especially BDSM. Queer theory, far from focusing only on gay and lesbian sexualities, also includes an interest in those sexualities considered deviant, and indeed queer. BDSM is just one such deviant branch of sexuality, including a multitude of traits. L is shown to be something of a voyeur; at three separate points, he watches Light nearly 24/7. The first is after setting up surveillance cameras in the Yagami household; there are 64 cameras in Light’s bedroom alone and the viewer is never told how many cameras are in other rooms in the house. During this period, L watches as Light flips through a pornographic magazine. Light’s father, also present, is horrified that his upstanding son would read “something like that,” but L has no issue with the pornography itself, only commenting that “It seems like he’s making an excuse” ( _Death Note_ , “Glare”). At this point, L’s interest in Light is shown to increase, making his gaze itself feel rather homoerotic as he watches a teenage boy read pornography.

When L captures Misa under suspicion of being the second Kira, he restrains her in a way that she later calls “fetish-like.” She is in something that looks like a straight jacket, her arms bound in front of her and her eyes covered. The straps restraining her bring to mind the complicated ties used in bondage, giving the scene a distinctly sexual feel, especially as the camera’s initial shot is a slow pan from her bare feet to her bound hands held in front of her crotch to her covered eyes. Slow pans from the ground up are notoriously used to grant a sexual connotation to the person it’s used on as it is generally used on women the audience are meant to find attractive; it separates the body from the face and allows for easier sexualization of the subject. While she is thus bound, Misa even accuses L of being a pervert. Just after this, Light asks to be detained as well as a part of his plan to defeat L. L agrees to his suggestion, saying, “Fully restrain Light Yagami and confine him in a cell” ( _Death Note,_ “Decision”). As this takes place right after L is called a pervert by someone he is already detaining, the decision takes on a dubious connotation as one considers Light being detained in the same manner Misa is. L even follows this by saying that Light “won’t be able to go anywhere [L’s] eyes can’t see [him]” ( _Death Note,_ “Decision”), furthering the voyeuristic association with L.

At this point, Light is confined for 53 days, and L is able to watch him at all times. When Light is released, rather than gaining his freedom from L, he is instead handcuffed to him for the next several months. It is not clear how often the handcuffs remain on, so the viewer is left uncertain of just how much L and Light do together—they might share a bed, they might shower together, the viewer is never shown one way or the other, and so the viewer is left wondering. There are further homoerotic undertones when people’s reactions to the situation are taken into account. Misa says bluntly, “It’s gross for two men to be like that… Ryuuzaki, is that what you’re into?” ( _Death Note_ ). L denies the implication, but Misa persists with the association, even directly addressing his voyeurism. When she asks if she and Light will have to kiss in front of him, L responds, “I’m not telling you to do anything, but I will be watching” ( _Death Note_ ). It is at this point that Misa calls L a pervert for the second time. During this exchange, the police officers present are shown to be deeply uncomfortable with exchange, their discomfort only increasing as the scene goes on. One of the responses is especially interesting as the English translation of the scene leaves out a part of his exclamation. According to the English subtitles, one of the police officers says, “Cut it out with all this dating and kissing and Misa-Misa talk!” ( _Death Note_ ). However, the translation leaves out something else he includes in that list—roughly translated, he also says “Homo stuff.” Without going into the penchant of English versions of anime to censor the source material, this exclusion brings to light just how homoerotic the scene is. Two men are going to be living together in extremely close quarters, bound together by handcuffs. While they are being used as intended to bind a detective and his suspect, the more sexual connotation of handcuffs plays heavily into the scene, remarked on by almost every other person in the room with them. This association never truly fades, especially as Light and L are also shown to be perfect foils for each other.

In fact, their relationship itself follows a model similar to one found in a romantic comedy. While they first interact through L’s broadcasted challenge—the first time Light is shown with any kind of strong emotion—they first meet eyes across the exam center for the university Light is applying to. One of the exam officials is telling L to sit normally, and Light turns around to see who’s causing trouble. After looking L over in a slow pan, their eyes meet and hold for several beats—L knows exactly who Light is, but Light doesn’t know just yet, although a connection is clearly there. Light thinks to himself that L “completely stood out from everyone else” ( _Death Note_ , “Encounter”). When they next meet, it’s at the opening ceremony for the university, and as the top scorers, they’re both giving a welcome speech. As they leave the stage to sit down, L tells Light, “You are the son of Soichiro Yagami, Detective Superintendent of the NPA. You have a sense of justice which rivals that of your respect for your father. You also aim to become a police official, and have helped the police to solve several cases in the past. You’re now showing great interest in the Kira case. I have faith in your sense of justice and abilities…” ( _Death Note_ , “Encounter”). This exchange, given that at the time Light knows nothing about this man other than that he is both strange and intelligent enough to earn a perfect score on a difficult series of exams, comes off as stalker-like as L spouts off details of Light’s life despite this being the first time they’ve spoken. Only after this, does L finally tell Light, “I am L.” This sends Light into a spiral of second-guessing as the two dance around each other, trying to figure out if the other is lying or if the other can be manipulated. When they leave, they exchange pleasantries beneath falling cherry blossoms, something with strong romantic connotations in Japan. Cherry blossoms typically feature in romance anime catering to girls, and many romantic first meetings take place beneath the flowers. When he gets home (and locks his door), Light finally shows his true feelings: he’s _furious_ , clutching his head and raising his voice for the first time since L first challenged him. As he explains how perfect L’s move was, he decides that “Everything is fine. This is a contest between L and me. It’s a battle of wits.” He further declares, “I’ll make you trust me, and once I’ve pulled everything out of you, I will kill you with my own hands!” ( _Death Note_ , “Encounter”). What “everything” is, is anyone’s guess and implies that Light wishes to achieve a certain level of intimacy with L under the guise of friendship before he kills L himself. As they move forward, this obsession goes both ways: Light wants to be the one to kill L, and L wants to understand exactly how Kira kills more than he seems to want to stop him. In the next episode, L and Light play a game of tennis together. L thinks to himself at the beginning, “I can read your feelings, Light Yagami” ( _Death Note_ , “Doubt”), and this is proven true as, for the rest of the match, Light and L are shown to be thinking in unison, completing each other’s thoughts and following the same ideas. After this tense and vaguely homoerotic tennis match—as they match each other both mentally and physically, fighting nearly to a draw—Light invites L out for coffee. In any other context, this would be the ideal set up for a first date. In this context, it still feels that way, although the tension between Light and L is more adversarial than romantic, despite the setting of their outing: a secluded booth away from prying eyes and ears in Light’s favorite coffee shop. Light never takes anyone else to this coffee shop; none of his “dates” apparently take place in this café, and outside of his outing with L, he only ever goes to the café alone. As Light expresses a preference for the café, it’s interesting that he wouldn’t choose to share it with a girl he’s apparently dating, but rather with the detective trying to arrest him.

While they are bound together 24/7, Light and L are shown to work extremely well together. They follow each other’s thoughts perfectly, and make intuitive leaps one after another, astounding the police officers they work with. Light shows himself just as capable of reading L’s thought process as L is of Light’s, impressing even L who calls it “amazing.” Furthermore, Light makes several bold statements that seem romantic at a glance: “Ryuuzaki, as long as I’m here, you won’t be alone. You have my promise,” and “As long as we have this [the handcuffs], won’t we die together?” While they are thus bound, Light responds with physical violence for the only times on screen. Both times are in response to something L says, and both instances drive home how in tune with each other they are. In the second altercation, they move at the same time, Light’s fist reaching L’s face at the same time L kicks out at Light. They are separated each time, but again, Light’s only intense emotional responses occur in regard to L or something he’s said or done. When Light is finally able to make a move against L, they share the most intensely homoerotic scene in the anime. After speaking intimately together on the building’s roof in the rain, they return inside and dry off—while Light is drying his hair, L kneels and begins wiping the water off his feet. This scene mimics that of Jesus washing the feet of Judas, claiming that Judas will betray him, and thus implies that L knows he will soon die. As he dries Light’s feet, he also massages them, which is something only generally done between people who are romantically involved with each other, as it is both intimate and sometimes erotic. Water drips onto Light’s foot, visually mirroring teardrops, although it’s revealed to be L’s still wet hair. As Light dries his hair for him, soft and romantic piano music begins to play in the background, the only time music of this nature is played during the anime. Near the end of the scene, L says, “How sad. … We’ll soon part,” ( _Death Note_ , “Silence”). This is followed by a period of intense and sustained eye contact as the music swells—the mood is broken by L’s cell phone ringing.

When L dies shortly thereafter, Light dives to catch him. The room is bathed in red, and the sound cuts. Light holds L as he dies, cradled in his arms. Despite the ominous red coloring, the scene is peaceful in comparison with many of the other death sequences. L dies slowly, watching Light as he fades away, his eyes slowly falling shut. Once he’s been killed, Light allows himself a moment of manic grinning before he begins to react according to how he believes Light Yagami would respond: After shaking L and trying to wake him up, he _screams_ and begins to incite panic through his overreaction, again connected to L. No one is concerned by this apparent overreaction to the death of a coworker from the usually unflappable Light, suggesting that the others saw their relationship as that of close friends at least, despite being a detective and suspect. Afterwards, again isolated as he hasn’t been since meeting L, Light hallucinates L sitting beside him and telling him something, although the viewer hears nothing. He hallucinates L once more, just before his own death at the end of the series. Even in death, they are connected, and the last thing either of them saw was each other, one of the most common romantic tropes, the quickest comparison being with the final scenes of _Romeo and Juliet_.

This connection can also be shown in the ways Light responds to the women he’s supposedly dating. He is confronted by women he’s dating twice when he seems to be thinking about something else to the point of ignoring them. The first occurs while he’s thinking about wanting to see L’s reaction to a particular move he’s pulled as Kira. The woman he’s with tells him, after gaining his attention, “You don’t seem happy at all. You’ve been completely inattentive to me” ( _Death Note)_. He brushes off her concerns with an assurance that he’s thinking about her and how beautiful she is, a lie. His focus here on L while he’s with a beautiful woman—“Miss To-Oh University,” even—is deeply homoerotic. This is continued later in the series after Light has succeeded in killing L. He is shown looking at a hallucination of L, one that seems to speak to him, and the next scene cuts directly to his girlfriend trying to get his attention. His eyes in this scene are particularly expressionless and apathetic. She tells him, “It’s our first date in a while! You should enjoy yourself more!” ( _Death Note_ ). This scene directly mirrors the aforementioned scene, and the transition itself seems to imply that Light’s mind is on the recently deceased L, rather than his date. He proceeds to derail her complaint by asking her, without emotion, to move in with him. Her enthusiasm draws attention to his utter lack, and makes his focus on L seem even stranger. Even when he’s with beautiful women, Light shows more interest in the man chasing him than the women he’s apparently on dates with, bring to question why he spends so much time thinking about the _man_ he wants to kill rather than the women who fall in love with him.

From the ways Light and L exemplify a queer identity, through both apparent femininity and through multiple identities, to the intense, emotional, and homoerotic relationship between them, _Death Note_ is rife with examples of queer coding. Were Light and L to meet in better circumstances, it is clear that they would be extremely well-suited to each other, capable as they are of reading each other’s thoughts and feelings, even despite the difficulty of people around them in doing the same. Light and L are both queer from the ways they act to the ways they relate to each other, bringing a new dimension to an already socially complex piece of media.


	4. 23 October 2015

In case anyone was wondering what my major in college is, I did a passage analysis on a line from “Stalemate” off the NY Demo tracklist ~~because I couldn’t stop myself~~. So, uh, for anyone curious about what a 3-5 minute line analysis looks like, look no further. (I wanted to save it for posterity, lol)

* * *

“I’m pretty sure that Kira is your son.”

This line does, admittedly, have a rhyme to fit, but the arrangement still has an intriguing effect. Rather than emphasizing Kira’s role, the line forces the attention to _Soichiro’s_ role as father by ending the line with the word “son." By saying "Kira” is “[his] son,” L focuses on two roles: those of Soichiro and Kira, his son–as opposed to his son, Light. He could have said “I think Kira is Light,” or “I think Light is Kira,” but he didn’t. Those two lines would have drawn attention to Light’s _own_ culpability, but instead, the focus is on “son." Another way to arrange it could have been, "I think your son is Kira,” which focuses more on how his _son_ is Kira, putting the onus, again, on Light. By ending the line with “son” the guilt for Kira is laid more heavily on _Soichiro’s_ shoulders than on Light’s, compounding the guilt that Soichiro is later shown to feel, motivating him to work ever harder to find proof of Kira’s identity in the hopes that his son will be cleared of the charges. This later felt guilt is evidenced by the lines, “Any grounds for L’s suspicion surely lie with me. / … / My son is exactly who he seems to be: / honor-bound and bound by honesty,” and "…some insane unfeeling monster, somehow raised by me,“ showing the guilt and blame he feels from his own point of view, should Light turn out to be Kira as L claims.

* * *

Normally I would have continued into the lines I referenced at the end, but I wrote this at 2:41 a.m. in a Skype conversation with a friend and wasn’t actually looking to write an essay on like three lines from a demo for a Death Note musical. (I do have _some_ standards, lol)


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